Bloody Drunk is a NEIN!
by Tafyapyap
Summary: The Axis and Allies are on a vacation relaxing. Tonight, England gets drunk and the poor Germany has to deal with this! M for yaoi and a fiction that was uploaded on here before, but got removed.


**Bloody Drunk is a NEIN!**

**Yeah, this story was removed for some dumbass reason, so I'm re uploading it. Minor Alterations.  
**

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Umm... shit, need a plot. Oh, I know, the Axis and the Allies were relaxing at a hot spring place! China was usually in the springs to be away from the others, Japan was viewing the nice night sky view, and as for America... well, we don't care about him, so fuck him **(Oh wait, that's Canada). **Anyways, England and Germany were outside on the bridge. Both were taking a break from their obnoxious "buddy", Italy for Germany and America for England.

"I honestly can't believe I was tricked into coming here. Stupid Russia and his creepy way of begging somebody." "Ai, the only reason I'm here is because Japan asked me to. Honestly, him, you, and China are the only people I can stand... and could really call my friend." England looked up at him, pretty surprised at that. "I feel the same way, man. Why do we have it so rough?" "I have no idea... I guess the laws of the world goes like this: if you're a normal person, you MUST have a somebody that will irritate you to the point where you might possibly kill them to get some peace and you, nor anyone else, will not care they're dead." "Ah hah hah hah, that's an interesting way to describe our lives!" England put his book down for a second.

"Y'know, we have so much in common, like _**brothers **_or something!" Germany nodded. "I agree, I guess that's why I like being around you so much." "Oh?" England looked back in his book trying to hide his light blush. "Geez, Germany, don't say weird things like that!" Germany was confused, but decided not to question it. "Vhatever, I'm going back in. Don't stay out here too long." "Oh don't worry about me!" He got back into his book, some reason happy that Germany's worried about him.

"Gerrrrrmanyyy!" Germany was greeted at the door by Italy, who happily glomped on the guy, sending them both down. "Nnnnngh, get off me!" "Eh hee hee! What were you a doing outside? Talking to some a body?" "Yeah, this "some a body" didn't make me want to rip my hair out like you!" "Your hair's always slicked back, so you can't do that! Here, I'll make it look like England's! Scritchy scatchy!" Italy made a hairy mess of Germany's hair, messy and wild like England's. Germany was now really pissed. "Oh you Italian scum, you..." **(LATER DAT NIGHT) **Germany was relaxing on his futon while Italy and Japan were sleep on the others ones. He was finally getting some peace from Italy. His peace was already interrupted from a knocking of the slide door.

"Oh for Pete's sake, who is it?" The person at the door slid it open, and something about him was very weird. **(Though everyone in Hetalia's weird in general.) **He had a dazed expression on his face that was covered in a red blush. He was swaying back and forth, barely balancing on his two feet and he was only in a shirt and black short shorts. Germany jaw dropped. "England? W-wat is this, I don't even..." "*hic* Hai~ Germany~ *hic*" Eeyup, England was definitely drunk off his ass as he wobbled over to Germany. Thinking he's going to fall anytime soon, Germany held his hands out to be able to catch him., which was good because England indeed fell and landed safely in his hands. If anything, Germany was confused as all hell. "England, drank too much AGAIN? Oh my god..." England stared up at him with his half open eyes and goofy smile. "What, don't be silly, there's no way that can be happened~" Germany sighed. "I'll take that as a yes. So umm, why did you come here?" "Because I wanted *hic* to be with you, Ger. I love you...*hic*" Germany eye twitched in response. "Huh, what? Okay, I don't know what you've been drinking, but this is starting to get really awk-"

Germany was shut upped by England pressing his lips against his. He could taste the beer from the little drunk, and it tasted horrible, even worse, he was trying to fight back England's beer coated tongue with his own, moans emitting from the drunk as he happily wrapped his tongue around the German's. Germany finally broke him free of him, a trail of saliva from their mouthes. "Ohh Germany, I want you sooo badly." Germany backed up. "**Nein!** I don't like you!" England's doofy expression instantly dropped, as if he heard sudden tragic news. "You... you don't like*hic* me?" His lips quivered and tears formed in his eyes. "Uh oh, don't cry, I meant I didn't like you like THAT, I-" "*hic* *sniff* No, you DO hate me, *hic*, I thought we were like br-brothers, uwaaaaaaah." Too late. The drunk started crying while hiccing. Even in his state, Germany couldn't help but feel guilty, and besides, this crying might wake Japan or Italy up, the latter being even worse. Germany put his mouth over England's, his crying instantly stopping. "Okay... I'll give you what you want if you quit sniffling, and to prove I don't hate you." Germany freed his hand only to see England's beaming face.

"Eh hee hee heeeee~ First, I want to *hic* taste you." "Huh?" Germany didn't know what he meant, until England looked down in a certain area. "You know...*hic* **TASTE YOU?" **Germany shook a little. Two of his sleeping roommates were in the room and the possibility one of them could wake up and seeing such dirty acts going on? Terrifying and would result in having to move far away and start a new life, according to Germany. But then again, he told England he'd do what he wanted. Before he even realized, England was already unzipping his pants with unusual excitement. He rubbed at the spot, making Germany groan. "Ooh, what you have must be *hic* HUGE." He slowly pulled down the boxers and his member sprang up. England did a dramatic gasp as he gripped it. "Ohhh, I was right *hic*. So big, bigger than America's times 2, eh hee hee hee." That statement made Germany feel much more awkward than he already feels. He shrugged it off as being the affects of him being drunk, at least he hopes it is.

He slowly started stroking Germany's member in an "up and down" pattern gently. The juices coming from Germany's thing were making his hand slick as his speed gradually increased. Germany tried his best not to moan from this, he didn't want to make any noise at all. England looked up at him with a smirk. "*hic*, I know you're liking this. Do you do this to yourself, I wonder? *hic*" He couldn't answer such an embarrassing question. He looked up at the ceiling to avoid the look of the handjob the drunk one was giving. England liked the look on his face and wasn't too pleased on him looking up. So, he put the tip in his mouth, making Germany jerk in shock. "Ugh..." He groaned as England took as much as he could in mouth, moving his head up and down. Though he didn't want this happening to him, Germany couldn't help but admit that this felt extremely good and baffled about how skilled England was at this. Why exactly, he most certainly didn't want to know. The fellatio felt so good that Germany didn't notice he put his hand on England's head to go faster. "Uhh, England... I can't take anymore." Germany released his semen all in England's mouth, some splattering on his face. There was so much yet England tried to drink it down.

"*hic* Okay, now your turn to please me, *hic*." Germany wasn't sure about this. If England became too loud, Italy or Japan might wake up, and like I said, would be BAD. But if he refused to do this, England would just cry again. England slid his shorts down revealing he had nothing else under. He got on all fours, positioning himself. "Okay, *hic* won't you be a dear and *hic* stick it inside me?" Germany grabbed his sides, and slowly entered inside him. England grunted in slight pain as Germany's member was a little too big for his tight hole. Putting as much as he could in, Germany started moving slow at first so he wouldn't hurt him. "N-now don't be too loud." Germany told him as he thrusted gradually faster inside the drunken Britain. "Ohh my *hic*, this feels excellent~" Germany gripped his sides as he pumped into the Britain hard, his moans getting louder and louder, which was bad. _Fuck, FUCK, what to do?_ "Ahh,  
Germany, you sexy git, your huge dick pounding me is better than tea and scones~!" ANYTHING is better than scones, Germany thought, but decided not to say that.

England's moans of pleasure increased as Germany rammed inside of him fast and hard. Germany felt real good himself as he could almost feel his limit soon. "*hic* *hic* Germany, ah, ah~ I feel so good... don't you?" Germany nodded. Both of them moaning from the intense feeling of pleasure from both their bodies. "I-I'm at my limit. I'm pulling it out." England turned his head right around with a look of distress. "No! *hic* Inside of me, mate." Germany nodded as he released a blast of his liquid inside of England. He threw his head back of the joy of the cum streaming inside of him. Germany slowly pulled himself back out and pulled his boxers and pants back up. England collapsed onto the futon. Now only 2 problems: How he's gonna clean this mess and what the FUCK he going to do with this passed out drunk? Germany groaned in frustration.

**(The section below is comedic crack)**

**(NEXT DAY) **Germany somehow figured out the two problems and how he did, I don't have a fucking clue. He was on the same bridge as yesterday, looking at the bright sky as he recalled what happened last night. His thoughts were interrupted as a familiar voice called him out. "Germany!" He cringed. He knew who that was. "Oh, England, it's you..." England was confused. "Is something wrong, chap? You look awfully blue. Did something happen and you can't tell why?" "NEIN!" The sudden outburst made England jump a little. "I mean, nein. Nothing happened, nothing at all~" "Okay, then! Anyways, just wanted to tell you that we're leaving-" "HEY DUDES WE'RE LEAVING!1!1!1" "WAHH!" America from out of nowhere yelled, scaring the crap out of both of them. England twitched.

"Bloody hell, America, where did you come from?" America laughed. "I come from out of nowhere, dude! Like a hero!" England and Germany groaned. "Anyways, let's go, I'M DRIVING!" "Oh really?" Russia was right behind America coming from God's know where with a purple aura around him. Just then, China ran up to the scene. He was panicking like all hell. "G-g-g-g-g-g-guys, the car, Italy tried driving in it and ran into a tree!" "WHAT?" The bitches ran to the scene. Japan stood there dumbstruck. "OH HAI GAIS~" Italy got out the car and skipped over to them, while France was up in a tree. "Oi, zat wittle idiot almost killed me, oh hon~" England curiously asked, "And you was able to get all the way up to that tree, HOW?" France shrugged. "I-I don't know! But that's not ze issue here, ze issue here is how are we going to get home?" Japan spoke up, "Well, why don't we try our cell phones?" Germany made an expression of realization. "NEIN, we have no cellphones, FUUUUUU-"

**END! :D Wow, England sure was drunk, huh? The last paragraph was just for shits and giggles, I just wanted the other guys to have dialogue. Also, after reading through this, I've noticed I haven't been writing in my usual style, which is comedy. I'll have to get back to that. Hopefully, this story or any other story won't be removed again.  
**


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